


The Monster in the Dream

by Nelja-in-English (Nelja)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Dream Sex, Episode: e161 Dwelling, Eye Horror, Guilt, M/M, Monster Jonathan Sims, Nightmares, Referenced Apocalypse, Too many eyes, hurt little comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:21:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23500741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelja/pseuds/Nelja-in-English
Summary: Written for the kink meme prompt:Martin keeps having nightmares about an evil Jon who does horrible, sexy things to him. All Jon can do is watch those dreams and comfort Martin afterward.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 10
Kudos: 132
Collections: Rusty Kink





	The Monster in the Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Betareading by winternacht. Thank you!

Jon doesn't need to sleep anymore. How long has it been since the dreams stopped being a biological necessity, and started to be his own way of feeding the Beholding? It's not important. The fact is, his God is being fed all the time, and sleeping is no longer necessary. 

Any Avatar would revel in this. Jon is not even sure he doesn't like it himself, and it makes things even worse.

Martin is still sleeping. Jon listens to the tapes then. He can't bear to be alone with the suffering of humankind. He tries to think, to guess patterns, to see what they mean. He almost thinks about destroying a few of them, because they hurt, because Martin shouldn't listen to them. But it's still information, and it's still part of a better world, even the worst of them, and he can't...

Martin's nightmare hits him like lightning.

Worse things are happening out there - so many horrible things, but Martin is inside, with him, and Jon loves him. For a while he forgets all the rest, he can only see Martin's dream, a huge Eye above him, and the end of the world, again.

But in the dream, Jon is not Jon. Or maybe he's the real Jon; he no longer looks human. He still has arms, and legs, and a body, but no skin, only eyes, everywhere, overlapping, eating each other as they open wide to look at Martin, who's recoiling in surprise and terror.

"You can't run away," the Jon in the dream says. "I found you in the Lonely, and I saved you. I'll find you everywhere. I'll be with you, always. I need you, do you understand?"

Jon can feel every drop of Martin's terror, wrung dry, but this Jon is opaque to him. He could be well-meaning, or he could be playing with Martin like a cat with a mouse. Martin doesn't know, either.

Of course, there's no true answer to this, this monster is a nightmare that doesn't exist. Jon is almost sure he doesn't exist. He's not sleeping right now! It can’t be him!

"Please, change it back!" Martin begs. “The world, everything!” Jon recalls how strong Martin was in reality, holding Jon as he was falling apart. "Please change yourself back!"

"You should have killed me, Martin," Jon whispers in his ear. "Oh, why did you love me so much? Why didn't you let me die when it still could have changed something?" 

Jon is holding Martin so tight that he can't breathe. Martin's knees are unsteady from panic and confusion. Martin thinks that Jon is kissing him, biting him, except that he's still all eyes, and it could be just a piercing gaze, making his insides wobble in guilt and love and terror.

In the waking world, Jon is shaking Martin, trying to wake him up. He's moaning and turning - could his sleep be that deep? But nothing changes, except that in the dream Jon is now slapping Martin, before grabbing him by the shoulders, looking at his pretty reddened cheek through hundreds of glares. In their bed Jon has to let go; he doesn't want to think of himself this way.

It's not - it's not making anything better. Only now the scene has shifted, and now Martin is lying on the ground, and Jon is still made of eyes, but he's no longer holding him, just crawling over Martin's body on thousands of eyelashes, and he shouldn't be so heavy but Martin' can't lift an arm, not even a finger, paralysed under his omnipresent gaze.

"I love you, Martin. I want you." All the eyes are looking directly into Martin, and half of them are crying, making Martin's skin wet and slippery. "You're mine, you cursed yourself to my side." And suddenly Martin is fully naked, or perhaps he’s always been, but only now does he feel all the shame of being exposed, his body with his feelings and his needs, and something even wetter engulfs his hard cock, but if it's Jon's mouth it doesn't stop him from whispering words of twisted affection in his ear. "It's what you want from me, don't you? I know everything you want. Wait and I'll give you all."

Martin begs Jon to stop, and tries to scream, but no one will hear him again, only Jon, and Jon doesn't care. And in all the terror, some arousal that feels like pain is building, and Martin's coming hard and fast. Jon can feel it, and he feels deep disgust and shame, part of it from Martin, he’s almost sure of it.

It should stop now, shouldn't it? Don't you wake up from a dream when you die or when you... Jon wouldn't know. Martin moans and cries in their too cold bed, but he doesn't wake up. Jon no longer dares to touch him.

It starts again.

Always different, but always the same at core - a thing that is meant to be Jon, hitting Martin with heartbreak and dark love and pain and pleasure, promising him eternity, and Martin can only bear it and cry. 

And Jon waits for Martin to wake up. Time is dead, how long can a night of sleep last? Will Martin ever wake up? Why would he? Tears start streaming down Jon’s face.

Is it the way Martin's unconscious mind sees him? Is it the way Martin sees him? No, Jon wants to scream, Martin loves him.

(But Martin loves the monster in the dream.)

Finally - oh, how many hours, how many days? - with always renewed tears in his eyes Martin wakes up, and Jon wants to swear that it's not him; that it will never be him, to beg for reassurance that Martin doesn't believe he would do this.

"Can I hug you?" he asks, shaking with need and doubt.

"Please!" Martin says, and Jon wants to think that it makes all the difference, even if he is also holding too tight, that he asked and that Martin wants him to. Martin is soft and warm and real, and the monster in the dream was probably thinking the same thing. Martin is hugging him back. He means it, doesn’t he?

"I had a terrible nightmare," Martin says, "but I can't remember any of it."

"You can't?" Jon asks, trying to keep the question casual, really, but compulsion is vibrating on his lips, catching Martin in its net. He could have stopped it, except that he wouldn't have, because he is a monster.

"Not at all," Martin answers. Then: "What was that, Jon?"

"I'm sorry," Jon says. "I'm so sorry." He wants to kiss Martin. He wants to say he loves him. He wants to give him long and deep promises. But he also wants to do something, anything, that would prove they're no longer in Martin's nightmare, and he can't, because they're still in it.


End file.
